I'm well aware of how lucky I am. Like, lottery lucky.

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I'm writing this with Deadliest Catch on in the background ... I have no idea why I'm hooked on this show (Mike Rowe), but I'll seriously watch it for hours on end. I'm glad that I'm on mommy duty for Memorial weekend, as the all-weekend-long Deadliest Catch marathon would otherwise hold me captive.

And I *heart* the Time Bandit crew.

Thanks for the encouragement about Bean's new labels. Don't get me wrong - I'm down with any ammo they provide us as we embark on the whole school journey. For that reason alone, I'd be willing to embrace ADHD. It's just the mood disorder part that bugs me. I just can't accept that one. Dave's more willing to take it at face value and use it as a tool - I'm more digging my heels in and in full denial that it's even possible.

I talked at length with Bean's former PT this week, and have talked extensively with her current OT, and neither thinks there's even the smallest possibility that Bean has a mood disorder. So that fuels my resistance as well ... I just don't want these labels to obscure other things - there's no guarantee the neurospych was right. There's a degree of subjectivity here and with so much overlap in this stuff it seems better to be resistant to something that doesn't sit right.

She's been doing great in so many ways; I've been talking to her a bit about how the school she's currently at (her last day is Friday) has teachers who are better able to help her learn the skills she needs and when she switches to Miss O's school in June, it's going to be more up to her to help herself. Ditto Kindergarten.

Is it okay to talk to her like that? I never know if the fact that she understands me means she can process it all without it weighing her down ... But her behavior has actually been improving since I started talking to her about how she is the only one who has control over her choices. I temper it with telling her every night how sweet, loving, funny, amazing and magical she is and how lucky I am to be her mom.

Because I really, really am.
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