Say! You all didn't happen to do a bunch of drugs, did ya?

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Being around Bean can mean experiencing the highest highs and lowest lows.

She stayed with me Friday night; we had a blissful afternoon, and easy dinner, she fell asleep within 5 minutes and then was up at 5:30 (yay.) We went on a deer/horse drive, then had our now-standard Saturday morning J&J's breakfast tacos. Then Target, a trip out to grandma and grandpa's to drop off grandpa's b-day card, and then back to her dad's. All freak-out free. One crying jag at Target that lasted less than 5 minutes, but no kicking, running away, screaming ...

Her behavior and self-control, when it's just her + an adult or two is very different from her behavior when she has to share adults with Miss O, and *vastly* different from her behavior in a group setting. The stuff that she does at school is stuff that's just inconceivable when she and I are alone together. If it's just her and I, I feel like we could do just about anything, go just about anywhere, without incident. It's what makes me think about doing a mommy and Bean long weekend somewhere.

I'm so thankful for these one-on-one times, because they give me a big block of time where I can just relax and enjoy her. Time when I remember what an amazing person she is, and how incredibly lucky I am to be her mommy. When I'm in the thick of it, it can be hard to remember how loving and generous and forgiving her heart is. And that sucks, because, honestly? She's the best there is.

(Quote from one of my all-time favorite Buffy epis, "Doppelgängland")
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That's my girl. Always doing the over-the-top thing.

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Another day, another humiliation.

Took Bean and Miss O to breakfast this a.m., thinking I'd spring the little one for a day of hooky before they start at the new school tomorrow. We were supposed to meet Julia and her kiddos.

We got there and Bean wanted to sit outside. It was 50-ish degrees this a.m., and her friend didn't want to sit outside. Commence full-on meltdown. Complete with screaming, running away, yelling and histrionics of epic proportions. Seriously. Epic.

After 5 minutes of trying to talk/calm her down (which, I've finally realized, only ramps the whole production up in scope and scale) I had to make good on my "if you can't calm down, we have to leave" promise and drag her out. All while holding Miss O. And in front of a cop, who thankfully gave me a knowing smile.

Or maybe that's the smile they give all whack jobs before running plates and starting a file. Who knows.

Of course, there was more freaking out in the parking lot, and when I got her strapped in, she was screaming and flailing and kicking the tar out of the seat in front of her. Got out of my seat, walked around the van, punched a side panel to let a little pressure off, then moved the seat so she couldn't kick it. As we drove home, I eventually went down the rabbit hole too and engaged in a screaming match with her.

(The awesomeness of my parenting truly knows no bounds. Don't hate. We can't all be this good.)

So by 9:00 my day was crap and I was offering to Miss O "do you want to go to school?" and she was responding with her new "yeah. yeah-yeah-yeah" reply that I took to mean: "Does the pope wear a funny hat? You two nutjobs or eight 18-24 month olds? Bring on the relative Zen of biters and naps on mats, please."

I dropped O off, let them know it was her last day there, then came back out to the car. Where I was greeted by a tranquil Bean who just wanted to chat peacefully, and with a smile, about how she knows she need to make better choices and that she just needs a nap.

And in my head I'm backing away slowly, smiling, and making non-threatening eye-contact with the psycho who is now sucking her fingers and asking for classical music so she can sleep. And from that point forward, we had a damn good day.

Within the span of an hour we went from absolutely fine, to the lowest of lows, and then back up to mellow and Zen. If anyone wonders why I get a little twitchy sometimes, now you know. I'm an unwilling passenger on the emotional rollercoaster that is life with the Bean.

I'm reading "The Sensory-Sensitive Child: Practical Solutions for Out-of-Bounds Behavior" and it's so dead-on balls accurate for Bean it's kinda spooky at times. And I'm totally kicking myself for not listening to the people who flagged sensory issues as long as two years ago. I have got to call her PT for an OT recc, and also circle back around with the child psychologists I touched base with last weekend. I'm not sure how much help a psychologist will provide, because until Bean's able to integrate and accommodate her sensory stuff, we can give her all the tools and all the words in the world, and I don't think it will make a difference.

To my local friends, I'm trying to convince her to stop confronting kids and to go to their parent or a teacher if the kid's behavior is bothering her. So she may come off as a tattletale or a nut, and for that I'll apologize in advance. But if you could just help me out a little and try to help Bean with her issue, I'd appreciate it. If she needs more space, or thinks someone took something or she doesn't want to talk to your kid, I'm trying to get her to tell me, you or a teacher instead of screaming at the kid and lashing out.

After that horrific start to the day, she and I had a fabulous time. We shopped (window shopped, mostly, as I'm all cheap these days. But she did get a $1 doll from the Dollar Tree store at the mall), had lunch at Boston Market (where up to two kids eat free with one adult, which rocks for single parents!), got her to clean up the playroom here and then went to the park and had a great adventure walk. Her listening was amazing, and we talked about all kinds of stuff. And even though I haven't had a break in 8 days, and have had some truly awful moments in that time, I was sad to see her leave with her dad this evening and miss her already.
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Ah, the pitter patter of tiny feet in huge combat boots

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Since the Big Girl's been dominating the posts of late, a brief moment for Thing 2.

(Photo taken by her Pinkalicious Big Sis)

She's been trying on pretty much every word you say to her, so while she still isn't very clear all the time, her vocabulary is expanding. She is still the belle of the ball at daycare, where everyone loves her in all of her sweet and tiny glory. She's a very generous kiddo there, doling out hugs and kisses to all, and sharing/playing really well with the other littles in her class. The comments from her 'teachers' are always along the lines of how well she participated in the activities, how much she enjoys playing and how well she gets along with the other kids. We had a couple biting incidents, with her on the giving end, and then karma came around and, well, bit her back. She had a couple bites from other kids, but that all seems to have leveled out.

She will go almost any woman who holds their arms out for her. At the grocery store the other day, she was having a hissy fit and another shopper stopped and said "Awww. You need to come home with me, you need a maw-maw." and held out her arms - Miss O walked right over and let the woman pick her up, then waved bye-bye to me and blew me a kiss. As the woman was a grandma, she naturally fawned all over O, and probably would have cheerfully taken her home for the evening had I asked.

I really wish my kids were more outgoing and less shy ... sigh.

I think O may need some speech therapy; we'll see when (if) I ever get her in to the doc for a checkup. I really need to stop saying I'll take her in and actually *make* the appointment, don't I?

I've been using gentian violet and some antifungal cream on her ringworm, and will strip the bed/crib and wash everything on hot with bleach while they're at Dave's this weekend. Dawn, I don't think she got it from the cats. Number one, these guys are 100% indoor and b, the spot is under her diaper on her hip. If she got it from them, it would be on her face, guaranteed. I've never seen a kid love on cats more, and it's always hugs and kisses.

She is the huggiest, kissiest kid - I get a gazillion hugs and kisses every day, and at night when we're going to sleep, she kissed me like 10 times after we've done lights out and I'm laying with them to sleep. And she falls asleep either on me or pressed against me. Since Bean snuggles in from the other side, I'm a well-loved mommy :)


But don't let the cooperative hugginess lull you into thinking she's a creampuff. She may be tiny, and look harmless, but under that diminutive exterior is one headstrong, opinionated and strong-willed little person. And I say that in the nicest, most positive way. Like her aunt before her, Miss O's motto should be "I may be small, but I'm tough."

(Honestly, I think it makes her just *that* much more endearing)
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