If only Rudoplh would BTFO ...

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Was talking to Miss O today about the joy that is Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer ...

... and *honestly* - is that not just the suckiest message for kids? Ever? His parents are embarrassed of him because he looks different, the other reindeer mock him and even Santa thinks he's worthless because of his nose. "Rudolph, those are some mad flying skillz, but you've got a shiny nose, so tough tiddlywinks." It's only after he saves them all from certain death that he's worthy of flying a sleigh. I've thrown out everything Rudolph-related in my house ...

Anyhow. Her Royal Tininess and I were chatting on the drive between dropping Bean off at kindy and dropping HRT off at daycare, and she was talking about Rudolph.

HRT: Mumma, Rudolph has a shiny nose
Me: Yes, he does. And the other reindeer are mean to him about it. Is it okay to be mean to someone because they're different?
HRT: No. That's not okay. Who was mean to him?
Me: The other reindeer
HRT: What other reindeer?
Me: The other reindeer in the story.
HRT: No, mumma. What were their *names*?
Me: Well, I believe it was Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen, Comet and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen.
HRT: But not Clarice.
Me: No, Clarice was the only one that was nice to him.
HRT: His mommy and daddy were nice to him.
Me: Right, they were. Mommy and daddy and Clarice.

Her Royal Tininess thinks on this a spell.

HRT: Mumma?
Me: Yes?
HRT: What do you do when someone makes the mad face at you?
Me: Ahhh ... Well, if someone makes the mad face you should probably just leave them alone and give them some time to feel happy again.
HRT: Why didn't he leave them alone?
Me: Who?
HRT: Rudolph. When the other deers made the mad face, why didn't he leave them alone? If he just goed away and let them be happy, they'd like him.
Me: ...
HRT: Maybe they were mean to him because he was annoying.

She has a point, you know ... It's a message I wish she'd pass along to her big sister.
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Sh*t My Three Year Old Says

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Technically, she won't be three for a month, but close enough. Lu has been on a roll lately with the things she says. Below are a few I've captured for your reading pleasure.

"We can't hang Bean's picture outside because hopper-grasses will get it!"

Lu: "Get off of my finger, you silly things"
Mommy: "It's probably just glue"
Li: "It's skin. From dolphins. I don't know how to get the skin from the dolphins off. Bad dolphins"

Lu: "Mama! I have a deal: you don't make the mad face and we will get our butts in the chairs and stop whining. Okay?"
Mommy: "Okay"
Lu: "No. Say 'deal'. Say 'deal', mama!"

"Mama! Thanks for coming home. You drove your car and you came home. You're the best mama!"


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games people play

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I've been wishing I had a single girlfriend or two of late; I'd love to go out and have a couple beers, just do the low-key casual thing, maybe meet someone. All the spiffy ads talk about how so many people are meeting their significant others online ... but I freakin' hate that approach. I'll do it, because I don't have much choice when it comes to actually *meeting* people, but I hate it. I'm so much more *organic* than that.

Le sigh. Getting matched with guys with mullets (seriously) and old fat guys (sadly, seriously too) doesn't help me appreciate online dating, either.

I'm listening to the girls play. It's like a sad parody of parallel play, where Bean starts some elaborate game that no-one understands. Then LuLu tries to join in but has no idea how to engage with Bean's convoluted scenario. Today's play includes a "yak poker that pokes people away from trouble" hand crafted from Legos and "a vehicle that likes to eat (rattles off first, last and middle names for her dad, sister, self and I) and it's a very mean vehicle. It doesn't really eat people, it teases people. And hits them." It's shocking, really, that LuLu can't figure it all out.

Eventually Lu gives up and starts her own game, usually with little action figures and dollies playing mommies and babies (and the babies just said "back. off. I need space. I need space too!) and tries to engage Bean.

LuLu: Can I hug you, Bean?
Bean: NO.
LuLU: (pauses) Can I hug you Bean?
Bean: NOOO!!! Aaaah! Get off me! I don't want a hug!

Those who know Bean well get how funny it is that she's on the receiving end of the unwanted hug :)
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