I feel just sick about it

Since I've got mommy duty this weekend, I'll take a few minutes to get caught up.

I took my annual turn at the flu Sunday/Monday/Tuesday ... Monday was definitely the worst of the three. Bad enough to make my sans-insurance self pay out of pocket for a dr's visit. He suggested I skip the official flu test, since it's expensive, diagnosed the flu and sent me on my way with a couple prescriptions and a not-too-hefty bill.

Monday afternoon/evening, my parents took one for the team and picked up both kids from daycare, took them to their house and fed them. Then brought them home in time for bed. Awesome, right? Totally. Except for the part when Bean threw up. In their car.

Trooper that she is, she held onto her dress to keep all the puke on it. But cleaning up a pukey kid when I was on death's door myself, well, not an awesome night. My folks helped as much as they could, but they eventually left, and as these things tend to go, Bean threw up again. On the bed. Of course on the bed, right? What? It would be the toilet or even a sink? Puhleeze. It's just like cats always gakking up their hairballs right where your feet land when you get out of bed. 1900+ other square feet to choose from, but it's that square foot they hit. I refer to it as Max's law: an otherwise totally worthless animal will do something that sucks and makes you wonder why you don't just boot it and it's stinky-ass litter box out.

So Bean is of course exempt from the ramifications Max's law, and since I'm only *some* dumb and not plumb dumb, I just brought a bowl to bed with us and when she stirred in the night and I knew it was coming, I pulled her upright, she yakked in the bowl, and conked back out again. I dumped the bowl in the toilet, rinsed it out, and conked back out with her.

It's Thursday night now, and I'm left with a hacking, miserable cough and that lingering tiredness and achiness, but otherwise much better. Bean recovered fully within 12 hours, and - knock wood - Miss O escaped unscathed. This in spite of the fact that she tries to fall asleep with her face covering mine ..

So I think we'll all be in decent shape for a weekend of sunny days with temps in the 70's. WooHoo!

I need a Little Bit of a break

I managed to sneak in a day with just Miss O yesterday, and it was a lot of fun. Dave took the Bean to Explore UT, where she ate a chocolate chip cookie made with crickets and beetle larvae (her dad didn't know until she was partway thru, and didn't bother telling her at that point :)

I haven't gotten Bean's report on the day yet; I'm looking forward to hearing about what she saw and did. She called me while she was riding a bus yesterday, and got kind of indignant when I asked her if she was having fun: "Of course I am. Of course I'm having fun!"

Glad to hear it ... I don't want to interrogate her, but I want to show interest and to hear about things, yanno? It's such a weird place to be, where I'm essentially interviewing my kiddo about her experiences. I try to dial back my own "need to know" kind of personality, but I can't eliminate it altogether.

Anyways, I spent the day with O, and we had lunch with Julia and her family then went to play with Cindy and her big girl. For the first time ever, Miss O got to play with the big girls that Bean usually plays with. I think the big girls were a little disappointed to not see Bean, but I also think they had a good time playing with the Little Bit.

I *know* that the Little Bit had fun. She loves playing with bigger kids, and doesn't seem intimidated by even much bigger kids. So she got to big and play party and climb and slide with the fabulous Miss C, and she got to run around like a crazy person, and climb and slide with the super-sweet Miss A.

Miss O refused to nap, and barely ate anything all day, but doled out no fewer than a hundred hugs and kisses, talked to me about everything and got to be Queen for a Day. A role she totally deserved, and one I look forward to her reprising with regularity.

So I've been laying low a bit .. I'm a little melancholy, a little overwhelmed and a little just kind of blah.

The melancholy is a little bit post-divorce, but more just the emotional drain of parenting; especially parenting the Bean. That's where the overwhelmed comes in, too. Neurology and neuropsychology appointments and assesments; biweekly OT; behavior challenges at home and at school; hearing 'autism', 'pervasive developmental disorder', 'adhd', 'behavioral issues', 'mood disorder'...

These aren't diagnoses, they're rule-outs. But they're mentioned because initial assesments indicate they're possible, that my kid exhibits traits and behaviors associated with these disorders. That's not something anyone wants to hear or think about. Having a kid who is such magic in so many ways, but so obviously off of center too is just an emotional rollercoaster. And if I'm feeling a little moody anyways ... well, it's easy to get sucked into just blah.

So I don't end on a woe-is-me note: next time you see Miss O, ask her what dinsoaurs eat. Don't be shocked if she says "carrots". But she says it with that little, subtle Miss O smirk that lets you know that she may be small, and she may only be two, but she has a big sense of humor.

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