One of us is very confused, and I honestly don't know which.

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Le sigh.

Friday was just a sea of badness for Bean. It started rough, it proceeded to be rough all day and it ended on a less than sparkly note.

When I picked her up from school, the director took me aside to tell me that Bean had peed on the floor, kicked a bunch of classroom stuff, kicked a teacher and peeled some of their plastic baseboard off the wall during her nap time. Our afternoon didn't improve much over that, but she did manage panties and not peeing on herself overnight and in the morning.

We had a decent Saturday, except she peed in her pants at Jungle Java after refusing to use the potty no more than 5 minutes before. I wasn't demeaning or cruel, but I did tell her I was mad because this should not have happened.

Today was pretty good. A few screaming meltdowns, but I was in my happy place in spite of being up at 5:22, so I managed to keep my game slightly above hers at all times. There were a few moments when I wasn't sure I'd be able to maintain it, but I did.

Today I talked to her a bit about what happened on Friday at school. She said she was in the bathroom before nap, talking to her friends and a teacher made her leave, so she didn't get a chance to pee. She refused to leave, says she told them she hadn't peed, and then started kicking cabinets and stuff. The teacher picked her up bodily and she continued kicking, and that teacher got kicked in the process. She handed Bean off to another teacher and that teacher admonished her to calm down. Best I can tell, they didn't say anything mean, but in retelling the events, she was very bothered by having been picked up.

When she was handed off to the other teacher, she said she didn't kick because her "legs calmed down". This particular teacher isn't one Big Girl likes or trusts (Bean says, "she always talks to me in a mean voice" and this is the teacher that lied to Bean at least once, telling her that she called her daddy and he said Bean couldn't come home with Dave or I unless she took a nap), so it's not like she likes the teacher and was sparing her harm :)

Then while Bean was talking to another kid in the nap room, she said "I had to go to the bathroom, but I lost the football game and I peed in my pants." Since she was removed from the bathroom earlier, I can only fault her for this so much, ya know?

I'm not sure what her reasoning was for peeling the plastic baseboard off. But when I think about how she doesn't want to nap and that they stuck her next to a wall where she *could* peel it off, combined with what seems her total inability to just lay still and quiet unless she's exhausted, it just seems like a "because it was there and because she could and needed to" situation.

Dealing with her is such a bipolar experience. Within 5 minutes she can go from screaming at me and kicking walls to sweetly offering to do Miss O's clean-up. Today she made a book, titled "Mommy" that talks about me being a princess and playing soccer, I think.

I sent a detailed email about all of this to her OT, trying to ascertain how much I can "blame" on the SPD and what I can do when this kind of stuff happens. The potty accidents, tho, seem all about control, a theory validated today by her threatening me that if I took away her My Little Ponies, she'd pee in her panties.

One of us needs medication on days like this, but I'm not sure if it's her or me.

(Quote from "The Prom")
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