So, are you shopping? You're probably not shopping

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But Bean is.

It's been a rough week for her, adjusting to full-time. And her days still aren't as long as full-time days were at her other school.

Wednesday, Dave got a call at work asking if he could talk to her about mellowing out and staying the full day. Thursday her got a call around 12:30 to come pick her up because she was throwing chairs. Friday, same thing.

It's just heartbreaking. It's not like I'm working for fun here - I have to do this. And don't think I'm not tossing around ideas in my head about working part time, not working, living in my car. Because I am. But my pragmatic side knows that I'll have to work full-time at some point, and it would be stupid to throw away the great job I've landed.

When I talk to Bean about it, I get these glimpses into her brain that really make me wonder what's all going on up there.

Like when I was talking to her last week about why she peed in her pants at school:
"I had to go to the bathroom, but I lost the football game and I peed in my pants."

She wasn't playing football, she was standing and talking to another kid at her school.

I got an earful yesterday when I asked about the choices she'd been making at school lately.

"The bad choices were one buck and the good choices were like 100 bucks ... My bigger brain was saying 'pick the bad choice' and my small brain was saying to pick the good choice. So the two brains were driving their shopping carts around the store and the bigger brain said 'pick the bad choice, it's only one buck.'"

The conversation (more like a monologue) was a bit more detailed and in depth, but this is all I could capture while driving. But she spent a couple miles of driving giving me the full story of why she made bad choices.

Big brain and small brain? Best guess is since she was looking at pictures of the brain w/ her dad and saw the cerebrum over the cerebellum, the cerebellum is the small brain.

Sure as schnitzel. She just came in, and I showed her a brain picture and she said: "that's the little brain; it stores all the stuff you don't think about." No wonder her big brain is the one making the choices.

Sometimes when I talk to her and listen to what she says, then try to line that up with what she does, I wonder if she's got something else going on ...

(Quote from "Amends")
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