I'm gonna give you all a nice, fun, normal evening if I have to kill every person on the face of the Earth to do it.

Thanks for the comments here and on Facebook ...

It's so hard to make these kinds of choices on your kid's behalf.

I never really felt "right" about Bean's current school, but I chalked that up to me being antsy about my kids being at the same school that Dave's GF's kids go to, and the associated weirdness therein. But when I went with this school it was the lesser of the evils; none of the five we saw really dinged my bells on every level. One came close, but I had real concerns about my kids' safety there. And the assistant director talked a good talk about being prepared to handle Bean's needs and physicality.

A friend suggested a "normal" preschool we'll probably put on the short list, but I'm really inclined to just find Bean a "special" preschool where I can relax and not wait for that call every day. (I use these words with air quotes because, 1, what is "normal" and 2, I'm too lazy to type out all the PC, ducky-and-bunny wording for things.)

The "normal" school doesn't force naps, which would be huge, and has a lot of active, physical aspects that would be great for Bean. She needs both mental and physical stimulation, but I think she needs a bit more physical just to satisfy her body's needs.

I just want her to be a regular kid, not the oddball - and opting for a school that caters to the oddballs, well, then she'll have a chance to shine and be appreciated for who she is, not be metaphorically smacked down all day for just being who she is. Could this "normal" school provide her with a similar setup for success? Possibly; but having now run the course at two "normal" schools, I really want the reduced stress of her being somewhere her dad or I aren't going to get a call from every day because of her outlier behavior.

She deserves to be seen as a regular kid, because she is. She's just as "good" and "smart" and "nice" as all the other kids, she just has a different set of barriers to her showing all that. We all have our foibles and challenges; we all have things that make us different from others, that make us difficult to interact with on some level.

So wish us luck; it's so hard to schedule these visits and actually appear to be a valuable employee. But at least this boss seems to get that kids trump work sometimes, and has been very supportive so far. I just don't want to push my luck :(

(Quote from "The Prom")


Julia said...

Seriously Vick, what you've typed up here is the mantra of special education departments. They exist in schools because of parent advocates for wanting their children to have an equal opportunity for success. It's no more different or shameful to expect and demand changes to help your child succeed until your kid is old enough to make rational decisions to fit into the bell curve without additional "training wheels" so speak on the side.

Vivian said...

What Julia said!
Bean deserves the opportunity to succeed and LOVE school. There isn't any reason why she can't have that. She simply needs adults that are willing and more importantly know how to support her.

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