To read makes our speaking English good

Sigh. Yesterday was a napless day, so bedtime came hard and early. Both girls were out cold within 20 minutes, and O slept like a rock until 5:45. Unfortunately, that early bedtime meant 5:45 was it, and mommy's a little cranky and dragging.

Bean was coloring and writing yesterday, and I asked her if she wanted to spell Max's name. We'd never talked about it before, and she usually asks me to spell new words while she writes. So she turned to her paper and wrote, and spelled out loud, "M-A-X". I was surprised, so I asked her how she knew how to spell his name.

"Because when I was in the car with daddy and we drove past Office Max and I saw Max was spelled M-A-X."

Okay then.

Later on, we were talking about something in the body, and she described it perfectly, then said "I know stuff like that, so I'm going to be a doctor when I grow up."

We had to do the parent-teacher-conference thing on Friday, after Thursday afternoon's whole "Bean kicked a teacher" episode. I think Dave and I were both braced for the teachers being crappy, but we were both pleasantly surprised by the tone - it was "what can we do to help Bean?" and not "Bean is a pain in the rear". We spent a good half hour talking amongst ourselves about behavior challenges, how Dave and I handle them at our homes, and what has and hasn't worked at at home and at school. I was really impressed with their wanting to find a way to help Bean be less of a turdburger, but not in a mean or judgy way.

I'm finding four to be a really challenging age. I think I spent like a week or two thinking it was an awesome age, but that brief period of disillusionment has crashed and burned in a horrifying way. We're talking Pompeii, but with more carnage. I know now why people call it the "F-ing Fours"

Bean is volatile, reactive and once in a while just generally unpleasant to be around. I hear that she's not my friend multiple times a day, there are screaming hissy fits at the slightest provocation, and she flails around if you try to approach her mid-fit, so I get hit and kicked a few times a week. It is incredibly hard not to hit back. Especially when I get repeated smacks.

What's is (or what was) your biggest challenge with your four-year-old? How did you deal with it?


Theta Mom said...

Bless you for writing this!!! I so needed to hear this from another mom, especially this past week. My son will be four next month and I must say there has been a HUGE change in his beahvior recently. I don't know what I'm doing wrong or if the summer has been too long...He begins pre-school in two weeks, so I am hoping this is the change we all need.

Thank you for making me feel that I am not alone!!!

Julia said...

I'm wondering if there might not be a phase of regression when kids turn four, almost like their brains hit another growth spurt but their emotions have not quite caught up. C's tantrums have ratcheted up a notch, and the seemingly insignificant things set her off where at 3, I doubt she would have pitched fits over the same things (like inability to hang a bath towel around her neck like a cape). I have no solution, just lots of sympathy. C at least does not pitch fits at preschool, but I get kicked and smacked a few times in picking her up and setting her quietly in her bedroom for "calm downs."

Angela said...

Yeah, four is almost over now for Z, but man, it has been tough. I'm not seeing any respite in 5 unless things start changing soon.

C said...

Yikes. *My* bean turns four this fall. I was hoping we'd be home-free... lol "F-ing Fours?" Never heard that one.

Eclectic Mama said...

Oh man, four can be a doozy. It's one of those ages you never hear anything about, unlike the twos, which weren't nearly so bad, IMO. So many moms asked me about the f*ing fours, that I ended up writing a long post about it here:

I'm glad my youngest is past that!

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