No, I don't think "Ugh" is the magic word, if one would call it a word and even then certainly not a magic one.

Someone please explain to me why it's even a little bit fair that my kids are always up before 5:00 ... I wasn't sleepy until around 11:00, then it took me forever to just doze off, when Miss O woke up around midnight. And probably hourly after that. 5 hours of ridiculously interrupted sleep is just not acceptable.

If someone could also remind me that I hate the concept of letting my kid cry themselves to sleep. Remind me a lot. Because at almost 16 months, there is no earthly reason this kid should be waking 5-6 times a night. Last night it was more like 8-9 times, as she woke up 3 times before I went to bed.

If she didn't sleep better (and later - until like 7:00) at Dave's, I wouldn't be quite so annoyed. But karmically speaking, my sleep shouldn't be the one targeted if she was going to be a sucky sleeper at one house and not the other.

And of course, Bean woke up loaded for bear, throwing a whiny-crying-hollering hissy fit when I told her no to chocolate before real food, then ramping it up a few notches when the banana she was eating 'broke' and wasn't all in one piece. Seriously. As if that changes the taste or anything. She screamed "no!" at me a few times when I told her to pick it up off the ground after she threw it there, so I ended up carrying her, kicking and screaming, to her room, tossed her on the bed and made her stay in there until she could mellow the hell out.

Magic word? Harumph. I'll take civil words. Hand to god, if all these books I'm reading don't give me some better coping tools, Bean's going to be a gift with purchase on eBay before she turns four.

I'm tellin' ya, I almost look forward to having to resolve conflict and deal with difficult people at work again. I cannot imagine a single situation I won't be able to handle, as it's unlikely that I'll have to toss a screaming, crying coworker over my shoulder and put them in a time out. Or deal with "no!" screamed at me repeatedly. Or have them spit at me when they don't like what I've said. I'm going to be the Zen Mistress at work, the one who can handle any sort of Joan Collins 'tude without getting ruffled.

It's hard to hold a grudge, tho, when the littlest one toddles in here, turns my chair to face her and beams up at me. And it's especially hard to hold a grudge when the big one is at school for the day ... yay for preschool!!

I took my taxes over to HR Block yesterday for their "Second Look", and I'm just flat-out getting hosed. Ugh. I'm most pissed about not being able to claim student loan interest because the statement has just Dave's social on it. I'm paying it, it was charged to me in the divorce decree, but it's his to deduct. And since he makes more than they allow for the deduction, no one gets a break. My advice to anyone contemplating divorce is to talk to an accountant first. We skipped that part, and we both got hit hard on stuff. So, accountant. Definitely. Especially if you have a bunch of assets to split and a damn student loan that can't be assigned to anyone else.

I watched my expected return get chopped in half because of that flippin' student loan interest ... I'll get over it, but I'm still cranky about it. Grrr ...

On to something less aggravating - validation from the American Association of Pediatrics for me having kept Bean rear-facing until she was 2: ... Miss O is still rear-facing and I had been loosely considering turning her to the front, but now she'll stay RF until at least two as well. And since she's such a teeny thing, I may leave her that way longer. She's usually got Bean in there with her to give her someone to look at and to keep her entertained, as well as a mirror that she can see me in, so it shouldn't be too hard to keep her RF.

There's also a Stonyfield Farm recall, affecting a few runs of the 32-ounce fat-free yogurt, for a "minute amount of food grade sanitizer" -


Julia said...

Per the crying a kid to sleep, I think that is really individual to the child and not something that can be broad stroke painted as CIO is good or bad. N doesn't transfer well so even if I were to pat him down until he's completely out, he'll wake up screaming bloody murder when I put him down. He also doesn't sleep well if he knows that I am anywhere near him. He wakes up often to nurse, but if he's in his own room, he doesn't. Because of this, we judged for our situation that it was ok to let him cry himself to sleep. Typically N doesn't scream but 10 minutes (sometimes longer) before he's out, and he's better for it because he wakes up a happier baby. This isn't the solution for everyone, but I think if you're having the internal debate of CIO or not, you have to weigh the outcome, whether you think O would sleep better as a result. And so you know...10 minutes of screaming feels like an eternity, but I have learned to react when I hear the scream take on a tone beyond just protest.

I think AAP is usually a little slower on the uptake of what a lot of parents already know to be safer. I was really excited when our pediatrician told me to keep N rear-facing past a year, as long as N can tolerate it.

Victoria said...

Just so I'm clear, I hate CIO for me - I don't judge anyone else for using it. Unless we're talking really young babies who are being left to CIO ... because that bugs the crap out of me.

But it's just not something I want to do with my kids. And fortunately with Bean, I never had to. Naps often sucked hairy ones, but bedtime was always smooth with her. She either nursed to sleep within 20 minutes, or, when she was done nursing, would snuggle to sleep. Now she konks out usually within 5 minutes of lights out.

O is another story entirely. And Bean's naps are generally sucky still. (Right now I'm still hearing her screwing around, even tho she's been up for 5 hours already and is definitely tired.)

O's gotten better about nursing down, usually, but the frequent waking is just insane.

I know from carseat experience that Miss O can scream bloody murder until you get her- she does not scream herself to sleep. And since she shares a room with Bean, even if I wanted to try, I'd have a logistical nightmare. Because now that they are *out* of my room, there's no way I want to move one back!

wrongshoes said...

I was just reading the other day that trivial things (like a broken banana) are often just the last straw that allow built up stress to be released, and that whining is the sign of built up stress that needs to be released. This book I'm reading swears that if children are encouraged to cry and rage they actually become calmer and happier in the long run, since crying and raging actually eliminate stress hormones from the body. I thought it was a fascinating idea and am giving it a try with DS.

Jen said...

Something I'm sure you don't want to hear: Nate only recently stopped waking up several times a night. He woke up around 5-6 times a night nearly every night until he was about 2.5 years old. It killed me. Ugh. I hope Miss O sleeps better for you soon.

Dawn said...

Coming late to this but thought I'd put my 2 cents in...

I too was totally against CIO for *me* because I just could not handle it. With Kiddo - I ended up sleeping on the couch with him on my chest for about 2 1/2 years (not easy with a kid as big as he is!). We made a half-assed attempt at CIO when he was a little over a year - and it was a disaster. It ripped me to shreds. And honestly, I knew he (and I) would sleep if we were on the couch, so that was our solution. With Port - TOTALLY different thing. He wouldn't sleep anywhere. At. all. I tried the No Cry Sleep Solution, and it worked for about a month. But as soon as he started teething and growing and whatnot, it was all over. Our biggest problem was having him in the room with us - he *knew* if he cried I would come to him and he totally played that. No one was sleeping at all. CIO was really our only option. The first night was relatively easy after the 15 minutes of crying - we didn't hear a peep from him for 8 hours. The second night - pure Hell. But then it got better and better and better.

Like Julia - I think it is individual to the kid and the parent(s). My theory on Miss O is that like Port, she knows that you will come to her. When she is at Dave's, what is the sleep situation? I suspect he doesn't respond to her crying in the night? Before we did CIO with Port; the few times he went to bed without me he slept much longer because he didn't think I was there.

We had to make Port realize that the crib was a fun, safe place to be. I let him play in there off and on for a few days before we did the CIO so that I wasn't leaving him somewhere unfamiliar. He now will wake up and call for me, and if I don't come he will play quietly or go back to sleep. Naps are getting even better - I can just pop him in the crib and walk out and he rarely even fusses.

All this is to say - I never thought I would be ok with CIO but it has literally saved us. I hope you find *something* that works for you. I was a total zombie for a couple of months with no sleep. I don't wish that on anybody.

The No Cry SS is a good book - her system worked relatively quickly for us when we did it (and I didn't do all the documenting and whatnot we just started right up with the pick up/comfort/put down thing and within a few days there was great improvement). If you want a copy to keep you can have mine. I also have Healthy Sleep Habits...if you would like to read/keep it too. It is pretty extreme and probably not what you want, but I found it interesting anyway (and obviously we used it's "system" - if you can even call it a system. lol).

Anyway, if you decide to keep on as you are, like Jen's Nate and my Kiddo, it may be another year or so of this with Miss O. I have found that 2 1/2 is kind of the magic age for sleep transitions...

Wishing you uninterrupted sleep and lots of strong coffee!

template by : background by Tayler : dingbat font TackODing