Something wrong? You stopped yammering.

I'm here.

Cranky, ornery and pissy. But here. Not sure I'll be able to say the same for either of the girls by this time next week.

I was joking around with Bean the other day and asked her if she wanted to trade O in for a puppy. I really thought she'd say no, but her reply was an enthusiastic "yes!" I said "maybe I'll trade you instead" and she got all sorts of upset. So we went through a big long talk about how I was just joking around about all of it, and thought she was too, that I'd never trade either of them for a puppy, yadda, yadda, yadda.

I sometimes forget that she doesn't savvy as much as the rest of us, ya know? I had to show her that dye and die were two different words the other day after I told her I was going to dye my hair. She was horrified that I was going to "die" it, as she likes my hair. Thus began a big long talk about words that sound the same, but are spelled differently and mean different things.

Still job hunting, still way sleep deprived and now feeling the effects of being Zyrtec-less, because I think it makes me a little nutty. So I have the 'very high' pollen levels eating into my tiny little brain, and congesting the heck out of me, leaving me feeling like death warmed over by mid-afternoon. That's about when my patience runs out, my over-tiredness sets in and a day's worth of pollen does the Desperation Samba on my mucous membranes, all aligning in what I mentally refer to as the Trifecta of Impending Doom. A long, hot bath and a solid nights' sleep could take the Trifecta down a few pegs, but O's sleep has descended into suckfest levels, so O at home = sucktastic sleep for mommy.

And don't even think of telling me to go to bed earlier. The 2-3 hours I carve out for myself after the girls are "asleep" is the ONLY downtime I have in a day. So sometimes, yes, I crash and burn nice and early, but usually I'm yawning my way through a greedy "me time" grab and wishing the little ones would sleep past 5 a.m. just once. That would mean that my turning in at 9:30 wouldn't already have me missing at least an hour's worth of my much needed solid 8 hours.

Maybe I can trade myself in on a well-trained border collie ... hmmm ...


Jen said...

I'm just offering hugs.

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