That's the kind of wooly-headed liberal thinking that leads to being eaten.

So Bean started in Manta Ray on Wednesday.

She's doing okay, but I am still so far from impressed with the teacher. I, personally, think she's awful. She gave me tons of 'tude for Bean being in her class already ("She was supposed to start Monday"), after I spoke with the director about when we were starting Bean in there and was told, essentially, 'Monday, but if she's ready now, no problem'. And told by the teacher many times 'I already have a cubby for her'.

Then I got 'tude for not having Bean's stuffed pig labeled with her name. But when I went to her old class to retrieve the pig that Bean left Wednesday, they knew exactly whose it was, no label-reprimanding required.

But what really irks me is what I witnessed when I picked Bean up Friday.

One of the kids that had just transitioned over with Bean, a boy named A, was definitely being a screamy turd. I get that that kind of behavior sucks hairy ones. It's one of the things that has me contemplating Swirly Enlightenment on a daily basis. (Hourly basis some days.) But I watched the teacher speak to him in such a shaming way ... she told him that he needed to use his words, to be a big boy, to stop acting like a baby and if he kept acting like a baby, he needed to go back to Clownfish (he and Bean's last class room). *Then* she picked up Miss O and asked him if he wanted to be a baby like her or a big boy, and kept telling him he was a baby.

I know some of y'all won't see any harm in that, and that's cool. I do, tho. Probably because I'm all wooly-headed in theory, just not super good at the actual follow-through. But Bean's spent a year plus at that school, and expressed a wide range of turdly behavior, and none of the other teachers have felt a need to shame her. Nor have I ever seen them shaming the other kids for excessive turdliness.

Am I overreacting? Would you say something to the director or owners? I asked Bean today if she liked the teacher, and she said yes, but I know she's pulled the same "if you act like a baby you have to go back to the other class" crap with Bean on at least one occasion. And when I asked Bean if the teacher told her she was a baby, she said she did when she cried. I'm just not cool with that. To me there's a huge difference between "you're a big girl, use your words" and "only babies cry, big girls use their words, and if you don't use your words you're a baby and you need to be demoted" (paraphrased and editorialized, I know, but that's the gist).



pam said...

Is there a way you can get the feelings of some of the other parents? If you can and find that they agree with your assessment, then maybe a meeting with the directors and some of the other parents may be in order. Failing that, yes, you should probably speak to the directors yourself, and making sure there is no backlash aimed at Bean.

Julia said...

I had reservations about this teacher when C first started the class, but only based on hearsay. So needless to say, I was a bit cautious at first, but I will have to say that this teacher has won me over after a couple of months. Granted, my kid is the kind who is an absolute turd to me, but she would never dare act up for a teacher so would I be singing a different tune if my kid were reprimanded this way? Maybe. It's hard to say.

If you believe that this type of verbage will harm Bean's self-esteem in the long haul, then I say that it is worth saying something to the directors/owners. If you think that Bean's feelings will be hurt in the short run, then I am of the thought that this is a life lesson in dealing with various personalities in an "authoritative" role.

I know that there are times when I hear things that other kids, parents, (and me included) say to C that make me cringe, but I also know that in a year, she'll be sent out for 12+ years of schooling where she'll be in a social dynamic that I cannot control. There are studies done which show that this last generation of kids (the ones before us) who were over-coddled and scheduled (meaning, parents who structured their world) who are facing challenges in the work force now not because of the economy but the inability to deal with perceived criticism.

Anyway, sorry for the dissertation.

Melissa said...

I would try and address it with the teacher, but I definitely wouldn't hesitate to go above and ask about what kinds of policies they have for this.
I have no issues with discipline, but I am not down with shaming at all. My six year old is in before/after school care and my sixteen month old starts daycare next month - that would not fly with me. I realize that sometimes certain kids need a firmer hand, but there are ways to do that other than taunting them.
I mean, I went to school when there was still corporal punishment (phased out my first couple of years), but I had teachers that ran a tight ship without ever making me feel like I was less than anyone else in the class. And I was one of 'those kids' for sure...

Victoria said...

Julia, I get the while 'coddled' thing, but there's a difference, to me, between sheltering a kid from any adversity and allowing an authority to talk down to a kid and treat them as if they are inferior. Consequences for actions, defining bad choices, discipling for bad choices, I get. Yeah, everybody says questionable stuff sometimes, I'm totally included in that. But this is a professional educator who is repeatedly shaming kids (remember, this has happened to Bean as well) in very formative years. To me it speaks to her whole outlook, and concerns me a lot. That her own kid is a total brat, and that someone else has heard her say to him something to the effect of "we have to treat girls differently than boys", that she's (IMO) really strict with the kids ... I dunno ... I just wonder if she's really suited for that age group.

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