Oh someone put a stake in me!

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Man, I am not getting enough sleep and at day's end I am totally wiped (physically) yet motivated (mentally) to get stuff done. I'm so looking forward to a few sleeping in mornings this weekend!

Bean had a rough day yesterday. She's so damn overtired, but couldn't get a nap in the morning, so there was all kinds of badness sprinkled thru my day. Her being overtired and ornery + me being overtired and cranky = me just wanting to go into my room, turn up some loud music and pretend I live alone. Or have someone stake me.

We were joined in the a.m. by a UT photojournalism student, who is working on a piece on divorced families. She had already spent a couple hours at Dave's last weekend getting shots of he and the girls, and wanted to spend a couple hours here when the girls were with me. Her project is only for her professor's eyes, so my original concerns about being overexposed were put to rest. She asked me a bit about the divorce and about post-divorce life, and I'm really curious as to how I came across.

(As an aside, if any local divorced moms/dads are interested in allowing her to photograph you and your kids, please, let me know. So far Dave and I are the only people she's been able to talk to and she asked that I let people know what she's doing and that she's looking to interview and photograph others. I asked her to send me a blurb that I could pass along to anyone who might be interested, so if you want to email me (it's in my profile), I can pass the blurb along to you, as well as her contact info.)

Anyways, the girl was here for about 2.5 hours, and boy did she get and eye- and ear-full of a day in the life of a divorced mom at home with her girls :) O dumped a whole bag of rice krispies on the playroom floor then she and Bean did a whole sensory experiment, alternating faces, hands and bare feet as they smashed and ate krispies. Sigh. Bean ran around like the "it's all about me!" crazy person that she can be, but did sit on my lap for a few stories.

Then we went outside, where O ate dirt and Bean showed off the listening skills of a 3-year-old.

At the end, Bean wanted to help the girl take her stuff out to the car, but when I asked her to just wait a minute until everything was packed up, she flipped. I walked her to her room as she called me stupid and, of course, indian. When I picked her up because she wasn't going, she started kicking and screaming. It kept escalating until I finally said "you're not helping, and you're staying in your room." I walked out and closed the door, and she serenaded us with her CPS-worthy screams and "I want someone to hold me!" pleas.

At this point, the girl asked if this was a pretty typical day, and I said yeah, pretty much. There's always a freak out (or 27), there's always tears, there's always meltdowns, there's always chaos. But, I continued, it's usually pretty easy to handle in a positive way because I know that Bean will calm down, and when she does, she'll respond to reason and to requests. I know she really does just need someone to hold her, help her find her happy place and just give her the attention she needs. I just refuse to do any of that when she's acting like a total turd.

Sure enough, before the girl left, Bean had mellowed considerably (it's tiring kicking your door and screaming at the top of your lungs, apparently), gave me a hug and came out of her room. She wanted nothing more to do with anything except me and I got some lunch and quiet time in her before we had to leave for physical therapy. And the rest of the day was pretty smooth, especially when compared the the pre-lunch freakout.

Mommy: You're such a sweet girl.
Bean: I'm not always a sweet girl.
Mommy: No, but you know what? Even when you're not, even when I'm angry with you for making bad choices, I still love you and you're still my best buddy.
Bean: Really?
Mommy: Really.

She's such a bipolar experience sometimes.

Miss O's VCUG is this afternoon at 2:00. Think good thoughts for her, 'kay?
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