That's okay, Mom ... we don't need anymore snacks.

Yaaawwwnnn ...

After two pretty good nights of sleep, O hooked me up with one of those 'up every couple hours' nights that leave me absolutely exhausted when morning comes. At 5:00. Joy. But, it's Thursday (can I get a w00t! ??) so at least I have a decent nights' sleep to look forward to. I'm pretty sure her problem last night was gas, as she'd wake with quiet (for her) screams and a lot of back-arching. She had a bit of soda with dinner, so the carbonation might have gotten to her.

Work is still going really well and I'm still really liking being a working mom. Miss O is doing really well at daycare, generally only getting upset in the late afternoons, and then mostly because of a classroom change. But she's eating and napping well there, playing with the other kids and enjoying all the arts and crafts. Bean is doing great with full-time school, as well.

Grandma and Grandpa wanted to come over for dinner one night and see the girls, so
I asked the to pick up the girls from their school on Tuesday. Miss O treated them to her "I cannot possibly be separated from mommy" routine, screaming any time she wasn't in my arms. When I screamed back at her, I'm sure my folks were impressed with my control and mad parenting skillz, but whatever. Sometimes you just need to scream. And for that reason, I'd give O a free pass on *some* screaming, but when it's just a non-stop thing, it wears on me.

Speak of the Debil, I can hear her coming. Unlike my toe-walking Princess, Miss O is a whole-footer. 'Course, she says less than 10 words, so there's always a trade-off. But you can hear O coming for miles as those chunky little toddler feet slap on the tile and laminate floors. This time she needed more to eat. She and Bean scarf down Flat Earth chips and bananas in the a.m. And share a piece of dark chocolate.

Bean just Id'ed my cousin Rebecca on Facebook, and said "She lives in Wiscaansin. That's how you say it." Ummm ... "Who told you that?" "My dada. I tried to tell him it's Wisconsin." *Did* he now ...

Bean's been having a really hard time with the 'two homes' thing lately, and acting out a bit as a result. Dave and I have both noticed it, and heard comments about it, and it's really nothing that can be fixed - it's a simple physics problem of the two of the three people she loves most in the world never occupying the same space. She can have me, Miss O and her, or daddy, Miss O and her, but not mommy and daddy and her.

We talked a little about how in the future, we can both attend things like games, recitals, etc so Bean has us both there, but now here's little opportunity for those more informal type things. And I'm not even sure if having both Dave and I at, say, a park with her right now would be a good thing or just make the vast majority of the time when we aren't in the same place that much harder.

Divorce, and two homes, is a hard thing for a kid. For Miss O, it's been her reality since she was, like, 5 months old, so she really doesn't seem that affected by it. I think the separation from mommy is hard, but it's hard when she goes to daycare, when I leave her with grandma and grandpa or when she stays with her dad - that's just an age-appropriate, is-what-it-is type thing. But Bean remembers one home, remembers mommy and daddy together. And maybe, for her, it's really becoming real, now that it's been a year that we've had the two homes deal, and she's accepting and mourning on a subconcious level, and acting out about it on a conscious level.


tobethode said...

A year? My goodness. I can't believe it has been that long.

You are probably right about spending time together now may make it worse when you are apart. I feel so bad for her. Tayler is the only one of my kids that was old enough to know what was going on and she didn't do so well. The others, no real problems. Hopefully Bean will become more accustomed (sp) to this situation and make life easier for you and herself.

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